Part A of the prompt:
What makes you you? What are the things that make you unique or different or the same?
The words pounded through my body like no other. “I am disappointed in you,” she said. And I cried for three days straight. Even the man I sometimes loved did not have time to calm my heaving sobs. This deafening loneliness returns periodically to remind me that sometimes I am not worth much (or so my mind deceitfully tells me).
A therapist once told me that I seem to have a fear of people leaving and hurting me, and unfortunately I have experiences to back that up.
And yet there is a mask sculpted from my flesh that hides those fears. The corners of my mouth lift to a toothy smile. And sometimes that mask is true to my present state of being. Sometimes the most vibrant energy pulses through my soul, leaving no doubt in my mind that God is good, that all is well.
But sometimes the mask hides every intimate detail of my soul so beautifully, and deceives even the closest acquaintance.
I am fragile, but I am also strong. I take those fears and privately let them go, one by one. Then I work fiercely to become more than I was before, to find a grace and refinement that I so desperately desire in my life.
Part B of the prompt:
How can you challenge yourself to become better writers, storytellers, poets? How can you infuse who you are with your desire to write? Have you done steps one and two and are you ready to really just into step three?
I try to be honest when I write. But I also try to write in a vague, seemingly exaggerated way. I try to hide in my writing, not only to maintain some privacy, but to hopefully let my experiences stretch to become relatable to others. This is not always easy, and I think that is how I push myself, just by continuing on in this practice.
I love the goal of step three: “Infusing the work you are doing with the specific things that make you you.” And I think I capture glimpses of that idea every so often in the things I create-- which sometimes seems quite devastating. But I hope that grace and refinement show through.
for what it's worth, i admire your honest writing and i think you are full of grace, and wisdom, and hope.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your work, I always admire how your voice shines through. You have a unique, thoughtful way to writing about things that are hard to think about and write about. And you do it in such a creative way.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I think you are already WELL on your way to infusing your writing with YOU. I also really love how you just dove into the prompt and uncovered who you are. And I would back up that hope of yours--when you write sorrow, it is a beautiful sorrow, a hopeful--or grace-filled--sorrow. Which impresses me every time!
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